Alternates
by Cinderfire16
Summary: Different one-shots of what should be the Twilight universe where the characters are neither completely weak nor completely strong.
1. New Moon Remix

**I do list what Edward tried to do in New Moon as suicide and describe it as such. Feel free to disagree with me. (If I owned Twilight things would be very different.)**

**Edward left Bella in New Moon. Case in point, end of discussion. The whole Zombie phase didn't happen but the Dog did and we end up where Alice said Edward was about to go to the Vampire Overlords and commit suicide. Wait, what?!**

Needless to say that they got to Italy pretty fast. Bella allowed the so-called Guard to lead her to whatever underground crypt they liked to fancy themselves. Wow. This was… something.

"So, how do we do this?" I asked. I was genuinely curious.  
"Excuse me?" One of the three men spoke, the ones on the thrones with the fancy robes and whatnot. I'm not going to say that I wasn't scared. I don't laugh in the face of danger like Simba claimed. I'm not Superwoman. I just had so many of those moments where I had to sit down and examine myself. I still haven't found the answer. I stopped trying a lot time ago.

"I'm not trying to be sarcastic or anything. Honest, Mr. Caius, I really want to know what happens next. Are you going to kill him? Are you going to kill me? Can I just take him and go? I mean, I've obviously never met you all so I don't know what kind of protocol you could have."

Granted considering that I'm surrounded by a bunch of red-eyed blood-drinkers they obviously have no regard for human life. Honestly? It's like a mouse telling the King of the Jungle to get on with it.

"You're human."

"Yes, sir. I would like to think so."

"All of our laws require that humans not know about vampires."

"Well… that's a problem." I admitted. "Thing is, Mr. Aro, I'm kind of partial to living. I can hazard a guess as to what your policy on that is and that your assistant is probably only going to be human for so long… I can also hazard a guess and say that you don't like how powerful Carlisle Cullen's family could be considered."

"Excuse me?" Caius hissed.

"Well, Mr. Caius, you've got a mind reader." Who, might I add, doesn't have the same type of ability as Aro because grazing the surface usually gets you nowhere. "A seer," Whose visions are often uncertain and can change with the slightest provocation. "An empath." Who has to manage several other people on the daily. "and there currently resides a human with the ability to block any mental powers." I honestly have no idea where I'm headed with this. "Mr. Aro is a collector, You're power-crazed and for all we know Mr. Marcus doesn't really care so… yeah. You could consider yourself screwed. Or you could swallow your pride and accept the fact that you currently posses absolute power over _the __**entire**__ race_ of vampires and leave it at that. So, Volturi kings, how will this whole thing play out because I really don't want to go home in a body bag."

"You may go," Aro offered serenely, waving a gallant hand. Two of the bulky guards swooped out from the wall, enclosed us in a block, and guided us back toward the light. Thank Goodness.

"I see you were successful." Carlisle offered when we returned with a silent Edward in tow.

"Mr. Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I think Edward might be in shock."

"I'll have to look into that later, Bella. I'm just glad that he's alive right now."

"Can I talk to him?"

"Certainly."

"You don't have to leave the room or anything I just need a metal baseball bat."

"Please don't try and hurt anyone or anything that resides in the house."

"Yes, sir." There went Plan A. Oh well… Plan B would work just fine.

I loped over to Edward and dragged him to the couch. We sat down and I made him face me. He was numb and compliant, jelly in my hands.

"What gives you the right to do what you did?" I demanded of him. He seemed to snap out of his daze.

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific."

"You _specifically_ intended to kill yourself. How did you think this would all play out when it was over?"

"I guess I didn't."

"Edward, what's suicide?"

"The process or act of killing yourself by your own hand."

"What does that mean?"

"That you kill yourself."

"What happens when you kill yourself?"

"You no longer exist."

"Exactly! You would have left a giant Edward-sized hole that your family would be looking to fill in any way that they knew how because you would no longer exist."

"You do realize that you were going to do the exact same thing a few days ago?" Edward stared at me incredulously.

"No, that's different because that's actually a recreational sport called cliff-diving. Ipicked a terrible time to do it but if I really wanted to kill myself there are a million different ways to do so. Easier, more permanent ways. For you there's only one. Which brings me to my next point. Why go to the Volturi?"

"What does that mean?"

"You had to _ask_ someone else to kill you. That should ring a few alarms saying that you might not want to do it in the first place." I offered. "I'm going home, Edward. Come find me when you're done being in shock. Or better yet I'll find you."

"That's it?"

"Hopefully. You're not going to do anything stupid because your family just got you back. I have a feeling Esme won't let you out of her sight anytime soon. Oh, and Edward."

"Yes."

"There are easier ways to break up with someone. I would have been a lot more reasonable if you hadn't been so dramatic. I've seen it happen."

Bella walked out of the Cullen house and drove back to her own.

"Are you going to tell me why I came back from Harry's funeral to find you gone and Jacob ranting about the Cullens being back?"

"Edward couldn't handle the breakup so he'd been contacting me the whole time. When he tried to contact me a few days ago, Jacob picked up and made it sound like I'd died. He tried to commit suicide so Alice got me to go to where he was and talk him out of it."

"So he's alive?"

"Very much so. I feel bad for them now."

"Why?"

"They all got the shock of their lives when the poor idiot pulled a Romeo to my fake-Juliet."

"You know you're grounded, right?"

"Of course. I ran off without telling you anything and you got scared."

"You're a good kid. It'll be over soon."

I hummed my agreement. I would be just fine as long as he didn't take away my journals.

"Are you going to keep up with Jake? He seemed pretty good for you."

"Jacob is half the reason I'm in this mess. He honestly needs to get it out of his head that I like him because I don't. I never showed any real hint of liking him that way and now he's got this whole puppy love thing for me and I don't want him to ruin his life because of some messed up notion that he's found true love. He's an awesome friend but he obviously wants something more. I can't give him that when I love Edward."

"Write that down and send it to him. Just like that." Charlie offered. I nodded and zipped up the stairs.

_**3 weeks later**_

"Um, Carlisle?"

"Yes?" He seemed surprised when I addressed him, like he didn't see it coming. Considering that we didn't interact on a regular basis, I could see why. I resolved to change that. I wouldn't let Alice or Edward shelter me in the little bubble I'd been in for who knows how long.

"I saw the Volturi."

He invited me into his office and waited for me to speak.

"What were they like when you met them? Because Mr. Aro seems a little out-of-it and Mr. Caius was all rage and power-hungry and I didn't tell them this part but Mr. Marcus is putting up a really good front or he's really that depressed. I'd like to think it's a bit of both because whatever happened must be really bad if he just sits there like that. He must have something going on that he just doesn't want anyone to know about. I bet that's what everyone does around Edward or Jasper or Alice."

"How so?"

"Well, the thing about their powers is that things change. Emotions can be hidden, and so can what you're thinking and so can the decisions you make. The first and last might be harder to get away from but it's possible. I don't mean to come off as mean but you might want to take that into consideration every once in a while."

"It's definitely food for thought." Carlisle admitted.

"The advantage is more that people who don't know you won't realize it, so it could be genuine, but there are people who can go through life with a smile on their face and pretend that everything is fine when there could be something wrong inside."

"Indeed there are," The surgeon agreed. "Do you know anyone like that?"

"I'm not a sociopath, if that's what you're worried about. I've just had a lot of those moments where I have to sit down and ask how I got here. I gave up trying a long time ago, Doctor. All I can do is adjust."

"Keep it up," Carlisle offered. "That could be a useful tool one day. You can be extremely perceptive."

"Thank you, Doc. Um, if I start having nightmares would you mind if I called you?"

"If it's absolution you seek I would go to Jasper. If you just want someone to listen then I'm here, and so is anyone else."

"Thank you." I sighed in relief and walked out of the office with my head high. Things were looking up.


	2. How Edward met Ari

**The original scene for Edward meeting Bella's kid Arianna, in my story _Cat and Mouse._**

Jasper narrowed his eyes at Bella, and she shook her head in response.

"James can handle him if he gets out of hand." She told him. "You don't have to stay."

"That's the point." He confirmed, going to sit beside his wife.

"Let me start off by saying that you should be glad that you don't have kids, Rosalie. That you aren't human. Being human is completely overrated and if you really want them that badly, there are orphanages all around the world that overflow with children. Very few of them see good homes."

"You don't even know me!" The ice queen snapped.

"I know your state of mind, Rosalie. Tell me, if that night hadn't happened the way it had, where would you be?" She demanded. "Certainly not here, with your true family, who loves you. Not with Emmett, who will always be there for you no matter how many times you continue to reject him. Instead of hating Carlisle for the life he gave you, be thankful for the second chance that you may not even deserve."

Bella's voice cracked a bit and she sighed.

"How do you even know what it feels like?" Rosalie sneered. "You're only 17." You haven't even lived."

"If I had a penny for every time I heard that phrase, I would be the richest woman in the world." Bella snorted.

"But you are… aren't you?"

"I couldn't be human if I tried, Ms. Hale. It's where my story starts… how I met Edward in the first place, and how the game began."

"I picked you because you tried to fight back." Edward corrected. "Because you wouldn't fall for me like all the other girls did. They were no fun. You were my one true challenge."

"And the never-ending all-you-can-eat vampire buffet wasn't apart of that? Come on, Edward. You weren't able to fool me then and you can't fool me now."

"If it helps you sleep at night, he actually does love you." Jasper informed his creator, his friend. "I mean like legit love, not the fake crap he's been showing off. It's just buried under that shit-ton of other emotions that quite frankly, are giving me a headache. I can't even begin to sort you out, man." His last remark was aimed at Edward, who simply nodded in response.

"I know that, but he might not. What, you think I just put myself through all this because I'm some sort of delusional masochist?" She snorted at Carlisle's incredulous expression.

"No. I just thought I was the only one who saw anything worth redeeming. It's why I agreed to Aro's demands in the first place."

"If there's one thing all of you should have picked up from this… conversation so far, it's that I have some type of history with everyone in this room except for Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett."

"Well that's kinda obvious, now isn't it?!" Alice sneered.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Jasper and James are my bodyguards, Alice. I just rely on Jasper a bit more because he makes sure he's always there. Whether I want him to be or not." She grumbled the last part. "James is just as reliable as Jasper, but he can be a bit of a pessimist. That tends to come in handy when I get to be an emotional wreck and Jasper's too busy trying to keep all our emotions in check to think straight."

"So which one did you sleep with first?" Alice muttered lowly. Bella rolled her eyes and glanced at Jasper. The Civil War soldier shrugged and shook his head.

"Edward. If you really want to know. He was pretty cool when I first met him. Then he got all crazy and tried to kill me and that's when he showed his true colors. The first time I had to call James because he was the closest. Edward left me alone for a while after that but it didn't last. He kept coming back and I kept allowing it."

"Not really allowing it." James mused. "The thing with Edward and Bella is that as long as the Imprint exists, he's untouchable because any injuries inflicted on him she feels tenfold. I know for a fact that it's reciprocal no matter what race the other person is. It just so happens that Edward has been ignoring said pain."

"No I haven't." The copper-headed vampire groused.

"Then please, explain why you were able to throw me down the steps and walk away without a scratch!" Bella snapped.

"Easy. I don't."

"English, you insufferable jackrabbit! Speak English for once in your damn life!"

"I'm known to be a very good actor, Isabella."

She glared at him for a good five minutes before she rose to her feet and crossed the room to where he sat. He got to his own feet and towered over the shifter.

"You mean to tell me that you were faking everything?" She hissed.

"Just the pain." He corrected her. "I played it off. There's a difference."

She drew her arm back and swung. Her fist met his gut, which sent him sprawling. She winced, but rolled her eyes and stalked over to the youngest vampire.

"Like that?" She purred sweetly. "Because right about now, if I weren't so good at handling pain, I'd be screaming my head off and cursing you for being so infuriating."

"Yeah." He croaked. "Something like that. But I was just obeying Aro's orders."

"I find that hard to believe." Carlisle snorted. "If what you say is true then even Caius would vouch to have you executed. If anything, the Volturi rulers do not condone abuse."

"Aro doesn't care. They don't know because he makes me do his dirty work for him. I'm not saying this makes up for it and I'm nowhere near redemption, but I figured you deserve to know that personal feelings aside, I have a method to my madness."

"This doesn't change anything." Bella hissed.

"Didn't expect it to. Just thought you'd want an explanation."

"Yay!" Jasper sneered. "Now what?"

"Now… I guess Rosalie gets her answer."

"Bella," James murmured softly. Sympathy made his voice crack and he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"He doesn't deserve it."

"It's worth a shot." She told him. "Besides, if all else fails, at least I have a valid reason to kick his ass."

"Not such a good idea, Bells." Carlisle's voice was strained.

"Have some faith in them, Carlisle." Esme admonished. "Surely he wouldn't go that far, and if he does, then we can handle it."

"Yeah? Watch this whole thing get shot to heck."

"Don't give up on me now, guys. Edward isn't that stupid. Jasper, can you please just get her?"

"Whatever." He growled.

Bella closed her eyes and sighed.

"You will not in any way harm the person who walks through that door with him. If you even look at them wrong, I will do everything in my power to kill you and I can honestly say that everyone in this room will back me on that. Are we understood, Edward?"

"Of course." He muttered.

Jasper was back a few minutes later, holding a wriggling Ari in his arms. He had thought to cover her eyes and for that, Bella thanked him. James tensed and Bella rolled her eyes.

"Wha's goin' on, Uncwe Jasser? Put me down!" She groused. Jasper snorted and rolled his eyes. Ari squirmed out of his arms and bolted for Bella.

"Yeah, kid. Run to Mommy. God knows she handles you a hell of a lot better than I do."

"You owe me!" She scowled from Bella's arms. Edward hadn't moved since the child entered the room, and she trotted over to his frozen form.

"Same hair." She muttered. Her nose wrinkled, which caused Carlisle to chuckle softly.

"You smell diffwent though." She mused. "Mommy says only Daddy has my hair. I want my hair back, Daddy!"

Edward chuckled softly to himself.

"But it's my hair too, Ari."

"No! My hair!"

"You know what?" He whispered into her ear.

"What?" She whispered back.

"I think we can share. No one else has our hair, do they?" He asked. The little girl shook her head.

"Then I think it's just you and me, right?"

"Right!" She grinned. "You kinda okay, Daddy."

"Thanks." He smirked, glad to receive her approval. "I think your mommy wants you." He told her.

"Uncwe Jasser and Uncwe Jay are gonna be so mad… they no like you."

"They like you though. Go back to mommy, Ari. I think Charlie wants to see you when he gets back." She nodded eagerly.

"Bye Daddy."

She hugged Edward and bolted into Jasper's waiting arms. They were gone seconds later. Bella let out a sigh of relief she forgot she was holding.

"You… never cease to amaze me, Bella. I must say that I'm impressed you managed to keep such a secret for so long." Edward growled.

"You know damn well why." She sneered "If your attitude weren't the problem the Volturi would be."

"Jasper's going to have to make me forget." He muttered softly. Bella nodded.

"Every single detail. You can't even remember what it felt like or you know Aro will be breathing down your neck like an animal. And then he'll be breathing down mine." She snorted.


	3. The Vampire's Apprentice

_Poise and Rationality (or, the one where Leah imprints in such a way that no one gets hurt.)_

He crouched at the edge of the cliff, eyes locked on the rise and fall of the waters below.

"Hey, Vampire! You're on Quilete territory!" He could hear them just fine, long before the boy had deigned to open his mouth and spout the much unneeded phrase; full to the brim as he was, as they all were, with hostility.

"I was well aware of that long before you spat in my face, pup."

"We're within our rights to attack you according to the treaty, the one that you wrote and had our ancestors sign. Sort of hypocritical of you." One of the younger ones snorted. He fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Duly noted, pup. Now, be a good little canine and leave me alone."

"You're on our territory!"

"The question is not that I am on your territory but, what you intend to do about it."

"Stupid leeches think they can just walk around like they own the world!" The sullen boy grumbled.

"If you were to give me a few minutes, I'd be well on my way," The coven leader informed them, gaze not breaking away from the rippling chaos of the waves.

"Well?!" The boy snapped.

"Jacob!" The Alpha barked.

"To hell with it all." The vampire growled, inhaling the salty smell before he sprang to his feet and lunged for the waves.

"Did Carlisle Cullen just throw himself off a cliff?"

"Well, he is off our territory. We have to report to the Elders. The vampires have broken the treaty and we have every right to retaliate."

Sam Uley turned toward the forest with Jacob, Embry, and Quil in his wake.

* * *

With the boys out of sight, a four-legged figure leaned over the edge.

"Feel free to help me up anytime, she-wolf." The vampire groused as he clung to packed rock with slipping hands.

The she-wolf grabbed his shirt collar and backed away, effectively hauling the vampire onto stable land. Once he felt solid ground, Carlisle dropped to all fours and shook himself out before rolling around in a pitiful attempt to relieve himself of any trace of water. The grey canine had plopped back on her haunches and now stared at him unblinkingly.

"Don't you give me that look, wolf. It gets me dry."

He got to his feet and took off for the forest. His attempt had failed, as he hoped it would. He'd come back later anyway, whether he liked it or not. For now, he could go home to his wife.

* * *

"Should I ask about the wolf?"

"She followed me home."

"Were you on her territory?"

"Unfortunately." Esme sighed and kissed her husband's cheek.

"Are you sure there's nothing to stop this? It's getting stranger, Carlisle, what if you get hurt next time?!"

"I've tried what I could think of, Esme. Besides, I've been dealing with this for centuries and I'm still here."

"Let's keep it that way,"

"Yes, dear," He chuckled softly. The wolf snorted and shook her giant furry head, eyes closed and a paw swiping before them in a way that suggested discomfort. Carlisle flashed the she-wolf a sharp grin and pulled his wife toward him for another kiss. The wolf gave him a dark look.

"If you don't like it, you can leave." The wolf lifted her head to the sky in an approximation of rolling her eyes but lowered herself onto her stomach and curled up so she looked into the forest, back to them but tense for action in a moment's notice.

"Suit yourself," The vampire snorted.

"Stop teasing her! It's obvious that she's already uncomfortable and you're making it worse!" Esme snapped, drawing back from him and starting for the silver-coated canine.

"What, did you honestly think I would subject another living creature to what's supposed to be an act of privacy? Please, she knew it was a joke and even if she didn't, she stayed so if there's anything obvious it's that she's got a reason to." Here, he turned to the grey mass of unmoving fur. "Well, wolf? What's your reason?"

The wolf turned its head to face them and Carlisle got the full force of its glare.

**Fuck you,** her eyes seemed to say, **and the high horse you rode in on.**

Carlisle raised a brow, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"You're probably very attractive in your human form, but I do have a wife and she'd be pretty mad if she heard where that conversation was going."

The air around the female wolf shimmered and in her place stood a fair-skinned girl clad in a skintight black leotard with dark hair and darker eyes.

"I didn't know you were that much of a pedophile."

"My wife is literally centuries younger than me, wolf."

"Case in point, vamp. I do believe that introductions are in order, since I'm invading your personal space and hindering whatever you planned on doing with your lives. My name is Leah Clearwater and I'm pretty much the only girl in the pack so it's no surprise that those filthy boys got the imprint wrong among everything else."

"Care to explain in the house, Ms. Clearwater?" Esme offered. "It's likely going to rain soon and the last thing anyone needs is for you to catch your death."

"If you don't mind, thank you," The young woman muttered shyly.

The vampire couple and their shifter guest went inside and settled down in the living room for what Leah figured would be an extremely complicated conversation to have.

"You were saying, Ms. Clearwater?"

"Please, call me Leah. It just sounds so… official when you say it like that."

"Alright then, Leah. What exactly prompted you to follow me directly to my home?" Carlisle asked.

"An imprint, according to the boys, is supposed to be a way for those of our line to procreate and make stronger wolves. I completely blew their little theory out of the water when I found you on the cliff. According to the boys' theory, I should be having an extremely severe case of the unrequiteds, which I, unfortunately for them, don't have and that should sometime in the future amount to me having kids that I can't have because turning into this monster dog has rendered me completely infertile. I'm really past the level of caring on that aspect. I'm not denouncing my legends and I love my people with all my heart, but there are plenty of things wrong with that scenario."

"So you're saying that if the boys were right then Carlisle would inevitably cheat on me because of some magical curse? Yes, Leah, there is definitely something wrong with that scenario." Esme snorted. "How do you see it?"

"The legends say that the wolf would do whatever it took to keep their imprint safe and happy. The way I see it, that could go any way you want it to. The only thing that's guaranteed would be extra help if you find yourself in trouble."

"That is something I wouldn't mind working with. I do hope you find your mate eventually because I would hate for you to be around if we'd basically be shoving it in your face 24-7… imprint or not, you deserve to be happy somehow." Carlisle offered.

"Thanks, I think, but I highly doubt I'll be dating for a while."

"Out of all of us the only one who's ever done things the conventional way would be Edward, and that's because he can't decide if what he and Bella have is truly love or simply different types of lust. Amusingly enough neither can Jasper and it's driving him and Rosalie insane waiting for the poor boy to make up his mind. From the viewpoint of a spectator, the whole thing will turn out to be hilariously tragic. If you don't mind me asking, what's put you off men?"

"What makes you say that?" Leah wondered, cursing herself internally for being so easy to read.

"It's nothing you're giving away intentionally, but I have the unfortunate experience of being around enough women to know when they've been scorned. You really don't have to answer if it makes you too uncomfortable." He offered.

And didn't that just loosen something in her chest. Apparently this stupid imprint could unwittingly make a slave of her. That was something she'd have to watch for and possibly inform him if things got to that point. She planned on keeping her independence, thank you very much.

"My boyfriend was Sam Uley and until a few months ago, we had it pretty good. We were actually going to get married. To cut a long story short, once he phased, he ditched me for my cousin, Emily, under the claims of the imprint, which I now get to shove right back in his face as a bold-faced lie. I bet he could break it if he wanted, the bastard. Anyway, I was still human back then so all I knew was that he up and left with no real explanation. Then I phased and got the cold shoulder along with the 'I never meant to hurt you' spiel and a whole explanation as to why things happened the way they did."

* * *

"Why is there a shifter in our house?" Edward burst in, nostrils flared and eyes blazing. Leah snorted.

"He really is the dramatic one." She muttered, more to herself than to them. "Well, Romeo, your father accidentally acquired a new pet." She snorted. Let him figure that one out on his own.

"What? Carlisle has no reason to be anywhere near La Push, let alone run into one of you. And I'm nothing like Romeo. He was immature enough to kill himself over a mistake," Edward snorted. "Over a girl he'd barely met a week before."

"Think on it, Romeo."

"In all honesty, why are you here?" The blonde boy asked. Curiosity rolled off of him in waves.

"Well, Scarface, as I said before, your father involuntarily acquired a net pet."

"So you're not here by choice but you can't leave?"

"The boys call it an imprint. I call it hell."

"You imprinted on our father?!" The blonde girl snarled. Leah knew what the girl must have been thinking.

"Calm down, Barbie. It's nothing like what they say it is. The only thing that's guaranteed is a little extra help if things get tough."

"And how do you know that?" Barbie's mate asked. He was more curious than anything else. The oversized man briefly reminded her of Jacob, a young boy in a man's body.

"Well, Brawn, I'm infertile, for one thing. If you want the definition to that, look to your wife. For another, according to the boys' definition of an imprint, I should be following my ex-fiancé's example and jumping the good doctor's bones; the likes of which I have absolutely no desire to do. Have I answered all your questions?"

The dark-haired pixie-like girl nodded more to herself than anyone else.

"It'll all work out somehow," She offered.

"Thanks," Leah groused. "Nice to have at least one friendly face around here. You kids act like I chose this."

"If anything, you're more of a kid than any of us are." Edward sneered.

"Well, Edward, you're seventeen. No matter how much you learn or how long you live, you will forever and always be seventeen. It's why the good Doctor has signed you up for high school so much. I can't speak for the rest of you because I'm going on first impressions but teenagers tend to stay the same no matter what and judging by your attitude, you spent both lives in relative comfort. Someone was always at your beck-and-call and you never had to work a day in your life. Even if Dr. Cullen and Ms. Esme are good enough people not to flaunt their wealth, you have a lot to learn if you want to be seen as worthy in anyone's eyes, starting with your own."

"Well said," Barbie offered. "What do you see in the rest of us?"

"To start with, someone dramatic happened to you that I refuse to touch with a ten ft. pole even if you permit me to. Otherwise I'd say you would end up just like our Copper here, albeit with more common sense. The happy-go-lucky pixie here is a Seer, the likes of which must have gotten her in trouble and is most-likely the catalyst for her change. Your resident bear-boy was changed in a freak accident but other than that, his life was fairly normal. Scarface over here has been through hell judging by his stance and I bet his whole body is littered with those. If you don't mind me asking, I thought your skin was impenetrable."

"Vampires are the exception to that rule, Ms. Clearwater, and feel free to call me Jasper if you choose to address me at all." Scarface replied. Leah dipped her head in response. "How did you know that my wife could see the future?"

"I have a knack for knowing certain things about people. A few things tipped me off to the idea but the main one was that she would zone out sometimes and judging by her mood or who she turned to, whatever she saw in her head must have to do with the real world. I, um… I kinda guessed from there."

"It would appear," Carlisle's voice took on a strange rumble that could almost be likened to a cat's purr. "That we have our very own Sherlock Holmes. Can you deduce the two of us?"

"All I'm going to say is that I know abuse when I see it and I'm glad you were able to get away."

Esme fought the urge to flinch and settled for closing her eyes and digging her nails into her palms.

"Forgive me, Mrs. Cullen. I was out of line and I won't bring it up again."

"You're right." The vampiress muttered. "If you don't mind me asking, you mentioned your boyfriend being the Alpha of the Quilete pack. Would he be able to influence you to harm any of us?"

"It's against the rules of both our pack and the Quiletes as a whole to mess with someone deemed an imprint or anyone connected to them. As someone with an imprint as well as the Alpha of the pack, his decision would be overruled and he would be far too damaged at the thought of losing his own imprint to even think about harming mine. You have nothing to worry about."

"Even if the stupid dogs tried, we could take those puppies down no problem!" Brawn snorted. Blondie jabbed her husband in the ribs and gestured to Leah, who settled for rolling her eyes.

"You're talking about her family!"

"I don't care what you plan on doing to the rest of those testosterone-filled mutts, but I must ask you to steer clear of my younger brother. His name is Seth and he's got tan fur."

"Tan wolf named Seth is untouchable. Got it." Brawn repeated a condensed version of her statement and she flashed him a sharp grin.

"Thanks,"

"What happens now?" Alice wondered. "Are you willing to be my new sister? I could dress you up! Bella hates being dressed up and it's no fun if one side is feeling tortured."

"I wouldn't mind a shopping spree," Leah considered nervously.

"I sense a 'but.'" Rosalie prompted.

"It would take forever to pay back."

"What is with people not wanting to spend money?!" Alice shrieked. "It's not like we'll run out of it anytime soon!" The pixie cut herself off while she reconsidered her words.

"Just think of the clothes as a gift on my part. You'll be doing me a favor and people don't return gifts. Is there anything else you might have a problem with shopping-wise?"

"I have to approve everything. If I walk around the Res in something that doesn't look like I would like it, let alone buy it, people would start asking questions and that's the last thing I need."

"I can work with that… I bet you'll have fabulous taste once we get you to open up a bit more."

"Say, where'd the copper-headed Romeo head off to?"

"He left to go get Bella. It's Friday and her dad's off with friends and didn't want her to be alone, so I suggested a sleepover. It helps that we have a three-day weekend for Labor Day."

"So do we."

"That's great! We can start our shopping adventures tomorrow!"

"Who's going shopping?!" Poor Bella sounded horrified as she entered the living room. "Why's Leah Clearwater here? I thought the wolves weren't allowed."

"They made an exception for the case of an imprint," Leah groused. Bella was silent as she processed this.

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

"The boys had it wrong in the love department so don't worry, I don't plan on breaking up your future family. You, on the other hand, have a decision to make."

"What are you talking about?!" Edward snapped.

"If you really liked Jacob then you would get rid of Edward and vise versa."

"Jacob told you that I like him?! No offense because I'm sure he's great, but I can't love him the way I love Edward, and if that's the way he sees me… I guess I shouldn't bother going to La Push anymore." She mused.

"Why let that stop you from having fun?" Leah countered.

"Unrequited love sucks as it is. If I went back it'd be like waving a steak in his face and telling him he can't have it… wait, bad comparison. It would probably be worse. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."


	4. In Our Next Life

**Thank you mermaidsforever for being my sole proof that this thing exists on Fanfic. I hope you enjoy the story! **

**Summary: AU where Bella was born six years after Carlisle and they ran in the same circle. The rest is... not quite history.**

"_You should eat something." His father had watched him pace for the last few days, and he was getting tired of it. All this worrying would be for nothing and when the girl got home, she would get a stern punishment for making his boy care so much._

"_It doesn't feel right… something's wrong." The blond boy muttered, not bothering to look at his father. _

"_You'll feel better when you've eaten. She's probably still helping Mrs. Felder at the market." They both knew it was a lie. Mrs. Felder had called weeks ago to report that the young girl had disappeared into the night._

"_You have to lead the men from now on. I'm getting far too old to be running around the streets at night. I need you to take up my mantle and don't you dare make me look like a fool! You need to focus on the hunt."_

_The boy shot his father a fierce glare, but it went unseen by the older man._

"_I'll be down in a second, Father. I need to prepare." He lied smoothly. _

_The old pastor nodded his approval._

"_I'll leave you to it."_

_As soon as his father closed the door, the young man sighed and took one last look around his room. Prepare indeed._

_Some misplaced feeling told him that he wouldn't see his old life any time soon. His dreams had been disturbing enough, visions of men that feasted on the life of humans, of beasts that terrorized villages. It was his job to find these monsters and kill them all. It was his fourth hunt for such creatures, and he already knew that the "tools" provided for the hunters by the Church held no defense against them. These things, whatever they were, were invincible, but only he knew that. He didn't bother telling the other men. They would die believing they had a chance to live, and he would die with them, knowing it was meant to be._

_He glanced at the frame on his desk. It was empty. The picture was already in his pocket and his room was spotless. Nothing out of the ordinary. His father had no reason to fret. He pressed the tattered drawing of the girl to his lips. She would not be forgotten. He glanced out his window. The men of the congregation were waiting for him. Death was waiting for them. He was more than ready._

* * *

His eyes snapped open and he glanced up to see his wife standing beside him. Her eyes were widened in fear and she sighed in relief when he blinked in surprise.

"Was I screaming?" He croaked.

"You weren't that loud this time, but you sounded terrified, like you were about to die or something."

"I was," He muttered. "Terrified," He amended at her gasp of horror. He sighed and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring grin.

"I'm fine, love. It was just a nightmare."

She rolled her eyes, but didn't pester him.

He yawned and ran and hand up over his face and through his hair.

"What time is it?"

"It's almost time for the kids to come home from school."

"I have the night shift then." He realized.

"I told them you'd taken the day off." He snorted and she rolled her eyes. "Lord knows you've done enough for that hospital to earn a two-year break, love. Besides, you need more sleep."

He shrugged and reached for the landline, punching in the number only he knew. She'd given it to him a few years ago and given that there was nothing to make him think otherwise, he assumed that she hadn't changed it. He was right when he was greeted by her annoyed tone.

"What do you want?"

"You should come home." It wasn't an order, but he knew she would be compelled to return eventually.

"Have you asked your wife what she thinks of that?"

"Esme is fine with it."

"Liar," The girl snorted.

"I am not!' He scowled. "Ask her yourself, if you're so inclined."

"I am, thank you. Pass the phone, please."

Esme snatched the phone with a smirk and he rolled his eyes. The things he let those two get away with sometimes…

"Carlisle?" The kids weren't home yet and Esme was here and all he wanted to do was lay down and never wake up because he was _tired_ but he couldn't do that for long. They had to come home sometime today, and judging by his wife's tone that would be soon.

"Do you need anything?"

"What's in the fridge?" He asked.

"If you want me to make you a sandwich you just have to ask. I don't mind."

"You do too much for me already. I need to stop being so spoiled. Besides-." The blonde man was cut off by the sound of running feet and shouting. He and his wife raced outside to find themselves faced with a group of men decked in fake camouflage with large guns.

"Carlisle Cullen?" The leader, a stocky young man with brown hair and dark eyes, spoke for the group.

"Who's asking?" The original Cullen snapped back as his family surrounded him with confused looks.

"The Boss would like to have a word."

"What exactly does Parker have to say?" Carlisle huffed. He was sick of that bastard.

"We're just supposed to take you in, sir. That's all he told us."

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline. If Parker wants me so badly then he can come out to speak with me himself."

"I'm afraid he can't do that, sir. He insisted that we bring you in."

"Well I must insist that you not." Carlisle's voice took a dark turn, one that she knew well and hoped with all her heart was never turned in her.

The dark-haired man nodded to his comrades.

"He said you might resist… fire!" He ordered. That was all the warning they had before flames shot out of their weapons. Six of the seven raced for the door but waited to see what would happen before they left their leader to his own devices.

"_**Isabella Marie Swan! You get your furry arse over here and do what the fuck my father enslaved you for!" **_

_Yes, Master!_ Out of nowhere, a giant white wolf landed in front of Carlisle and leapt through the flames. Within minutes, the flames were extinguished and the main man was racing off, leaving the rest of the men on the ground. The white wolf watched him go before turning and trotting back to Carlisle.

"What the hell were you doing just now? I could've gotten roasted for all you knew." The original Cullen barked out.

"The worst problem would be of your clothes not being as fireproof as you are." Esme retorted in the wolf's defense. "Don't be so hard on the girl, Carlisle. She did her job."

"Not well enough." He growled back, golden eyes flashing blue. The wolf started to back away, but Carlisle turned his glare back on it.

"Clean up," He ordered.

"Go inside and I'll explain." He told the rest of his coven. The kids had never seen him so mad and Esme had feared the day that wrath would be turned on them.

"I will find a way to kill you before you lay a hand on them." She growled.

"I'm not going to hit anyone, Esme. It's me. I'm back now."

"Prove it." She hissed, barring him from the house. He froze and his eyes flickered between amber and blue.

"He's saying that he'd have left you to the flames. Call me sentimental, old friend, but I like my wife the way she is. Un-fucking-roasted." He growled to himself, then chuckled a few minutes later.

"He apologized… and called me a pussy. Why the fuck did you want me to tell her that?!" He scowled, gently knocking Esme's arm away. She let him. Fang wouldn't hurt her even if he did drive Carlisle insane, but she wasn't so sure of the kids' safety.

_**Those kids of yours are spoiled rotten, Cullen. You need to set some boundaries. **_

"Shut the hell up, Fang. I've set all the boundaries I'll allow. I'm not actually their father, thank God."

"Why would you say that?!" Esme laughed. Carlisle shot his wife an annoyed look.

"It's not funny, Es. It's bad enough he wants to chain Bella to my side. Now he's saying I need to set boundaries? I'm not going to order five fully grown vampires to do something outrageous because you think I should."

_**Edward's not fully grown.**_ Fang pointed out.

"Edward's not exactly full grown…" Esme hedged. Carlisle shook his head but it was too late.

_**See, even your wife agrees with me!**_

"For the love of-. Will you be quiet?!" Carlisle hissed. "You're giving me a headache and now they're looking at me like I'm crazy!"

"Carlisle, dear, you are a bit insane."

"_**I fucking know that!" **_He hissed, eyes turning blue. "_**Do you really think that I don't know that?!" **_

"Hey!" Esme snapped.

"_**What?!" **_ The wolf had long-since taken the form of a girl, having hauled the unconscious bodies off to who-knows-where. She crept up behind Carlisle, who turned and reached out to wrap a hand around her neck. She ducked and jumped in front of Esme as he whipped around to face her. His hand shot out to wrap around her neck, rooting her into place.

"_**What" **_He growled lowly. "_**have I told you about trying that?"**_

"You also told me to protect your family, so pick one, William. Are you going to kill your wife like your father did his?"

"Of course not," He snorted, not allowing either of them to move. His eyes flickered between amber and blue.

_**I have no such qualms about killing the mistress, though. Remind me again why we can't kill the bitch, will you, Car?**_

Carlisle pried his hand from around her neck and she nodded her thanks.

"She's not my mistress, asshole," He scowled to himself before turning to Bella. "Genuine question, so don't punch me: Do you consider yourself a bitch?"

Bella doubled over with laughter, shaking at Carlisle's feet.

"Tell Fang I'll fuck him when Hell freezes over, will. He knows what I mean."

The look on Carlisle's face made her want to laugh again.

"Oh dear God, kill me now…" He whimpered. "Really, just fucking rip my head off because that is so fucking disgusting on so many damned levels… I would throw up if i'd eaten lunch, but I haven't. What the hell, Bella, seriously? I leave you two alone for five minutes and I have to come back to this crap."

Carlisle slowly lowered himself to the couch and laid his head in his wife's lap.

"You're hearing this too, right? It's not just me?"

"It's real, honey." She muttered dryly.

"I was dead serious about the whole kill me thing. I don't know how much more of Fang I can take." He admitted.

"You'll do your best to try, no doubt." Esme assured him.

"Esme, dearest, how the fuck is this my life?"

"I don't really know, Car." She chuckled. He groaned.

"This. is. not. funny." He spat out, sitting up to glare at Esme.

"May I take my leave?" Bella snorted. "I have better things to do than watch him go through midlife crisis, thank you."

"Yes," Esme murmured. "Thank you for your help."

"Stay your ass right here or I'll rip your throat out and feed you to the Volturi."

"I ran into those bastards when one of them bit me."

"Did they get a good snack?" Carlisle sounded far too amused.

"They fucking died trying, William, and I'm not just saying that because wolf blood is poisonous. I ripped that asshole to shreds and told the rest not to follow me unless they wanted the exact same thing!" The furious girl snarled out.

"I taught you well," The blonde coven leader rumbled.

"Are you done angsting over your unsolvably fucked up life?" She sighed.

"I was until Fang started laughing about the Volturi." He growled.

_**You know that was funny, Car!**_

"Yes, clearly it was, now go to sleep."

"Want me to stand guard tonight?"

"If you don't mind, please. If you can't stop me then at least you can wake me up. Rope Emmett and Jasper into it if you have to." He groused. "Fang is going to be a hell of a lot more temperamental than usual."

"Yes, sir." she chuckled softly. Carlisle rolled his eyes.

"What would I do without you?" He snorted.

"Rape your wife, kill your kids, and live happily ever after with me hating every minute of it before you came to your senses and tried to kill yourself all over again."

Carlisle froze, the image probably playing out in his mind.

"Fuck," he scowled.

"I love that you could see it all playing out in your head. Trust me, so could I." The two non-vampires shivered in harmony.

"Remind me again why I can't die?"

"Because I was selfish, that's why." The girl sneered. "Now stop whining and tell your kids what the hell is going on because they look like they want to kill me."

"Long story short? I raised her, Dad wanted me to marry her and I fucking lost it. He did the next best thing and got a witch to cast an everlasting spell that keeps her as my servant. Dad kills the witch because originally he wanted us to fall in love. Now instead of dying like intended I'm a half-vampire half-werewolf bastard with a Napoleon complex in the back of my head called questions?"

"Holy shit…" Emmett whispered.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, boy." Carlisle sighed.

"Why would you keep this from us?!" Rosalie demanded. "Don't you think we had the right to know we've been spending the majority of our time with a psychopath?"

"Same reason I created most of you in the first place. I was lonely, bitter, and selfish enough to subject you to what would essentially be life with a psychopath. Of course, said psychopath is usually dormant but it's all the same."

The girl who previously was a wolf crept toward the door.

"Don't you remember what happened the first time you tried that?"

"You then released the order and swore to never use it again."

"Change of plans. You stay until further instructions are given for you to leave by me alone. No exceptions." Something glowed a sickly red color under her shirt and she dipped her head.

"Yes, Master." She groused and stalked over to sit by his feet, leaning against the couch. Esme patted the spot beside her, to which he shrugged and Bella grinned as she stretched out so her head was in Esme's lap and her feet at the other end. The caramel-haired vampiress began to rub the she wolf's head, to which Bella responded with a content humming noise.

"Can I keep her?" Bella mumbled.

"Then where would I be?" Carlisle asked.

"I guess I have to keep you too." She groused.

"And what about the other five?"

"They can do whatever they want with themselves. I'm only sharing because I have to."

"That's very nice of you, Bella. Thank you." Esme murmured, amusement leaking through her tone.

"Well it's no use if you're gonna be mad about it."

"You're such a baby." Carlisle snorted. The girl, Bella, released herself from Esme's embrace and glared at her blond friend.

"And you're a bastard."

"What'd I do this time?"

"Why doesn't he remember me?"

Carlisle froze, as if lost in thought before he mumbled a low curse.

"Knew I forgot something."

"For that matter, how did I not know he was alive until 15 minutes ago? You can't just mess with my head like that!"

"I can do whatever I want whether you like it or not. Your choice is optional and something you are lucky to have." The blonde leader hissed, voice dripping acid.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I would have if he remembered you. If you bothered to actually tell him yourself then there would be no problem."

"And be trapped for the rest of eternity?"

"You can't have it both ways. Even if he wanted to leave with you, you would still have to come back. No way around it. You're lucky, because I would let you go if you asked. The only thing keeping any of them here is their own want."

"And if I asked him to leave with me now?"

"Then I'm not the only obstacle you face. "

"Asshole." She scowled. "You knew this would happen."

"Not the memory part, but I figured you had to come back eventually and he'd ask you to stay. There is no advantage of mine that your husband forgot your existence."

"Shove it in my face, why don't you."

"What are you going to do about it?

"I don't want to stay here."

"Doesn't have to be forever. I'd try to kill you eventually."

"Is that you talking or Fang?"

"Pick one."

"You, then, because Fang has other plans."

The coven leader went still.

"Fuck-."

"I believe that's how we got here in the first place." He shot his servant an annoyed look.

"My life."

"Yeah, it sucks."

_**There are so many ways I could-. **_

"Shut _up_. Goddammit, I did not need to see that!" He snapped.

_**I can make it happen. **_

"Over my dead body."

_**That's also a thing that can happen. **_

"Then why am I still here?" He muttered bitterly. Fang went silent, equally frustrated.

"Exactly." Carlisle sneered. "Bastard."

"Are you done?" Bella snorted.

"Never mind the fact that I spent so much time teaching you how to avoid men, he actually likes you. Dear God this needs to end."

"You told me something about Fang being your unborn twin brother or something like that." the she-wolf offered.

"I don't care what he is. He's not me and I want him out of my head. Speaking of…" He trailed off and Bella shook her head. Even if they did find some way to fix all this...

"I'd hate you forever if I could spare the time."


End file.
